G.I. Joe: Retaliation - Noodles Review

5 out of 10 Noodles

        G.I. Joe! That's always exciting, right? Well, not in this movie's predecessor The Rise of Cobra, but this sequel (that should've been a reboot to the crap we saw in 2009) has some to it. G.I. Joe: Retaliation starts with the imposter president ordering for the G.I. Joe unit to be taken out. And now, all that's left are the heroes of this movie (they don't exactly save the movie but they, more or less, save the day). Right off the bat, I can tell you that this movie is a hell of a lot better than its predecessor.

        Retaliation stars the Rock... Yup, pretty much just the Rock. Well there's also the really hot chick and the other guy that nobody cares about, but the movie is for Dwayne Johnson. Additionally, there's Snake Eyes doing his thing and Channing Tatum's character, Duke, who was obviously written in at the last minute to make a little bit more money. Some of these characters are very irrelevant. Snake Eyes is in this movie for the sake of being Snake Eyes, an ass-kicking ninja soldier. That's it. So, his relevance to the story is somewhat forced; I personally thought the movie could've been executed better without him (although he does have some cool action scenes). The third guy of the main squad is highly forgettable (I don't even remember his name) and I feel that Duke should've had that role; but unfortunately Duke was written in at the last minute in scenes that wouldn't alter the present story too much.

        As for the execution of the movie, it's actually really entertaining as just a popcorn flick. The story's not that dense but at some times, it tries to be. In the middle of the movie, it just slows down for no apparent reason. If that had aided in the storytelling, I would've been okay, but that's not the case here! The story of the movie is a little forced at times, and I just wish this movie didn't take itself as seriously as it actually did because it made the movie, itself, seem messy. Then, they throw explosions and bullets at you to make you forget about that. But, I think we all just wanna see this movie for the action and the special effects.

        Really, this movie is good for a G.I. Joe movie. Compared to the first movie, Retaliation is a hell of a lot better, in pretty much every sense. And because this movie is going to be compared so much to the first movie, G.I. Joe: Retaliation will seem a lot better than it actually is. As a movie itself, it's an enjoyable and cartoony popcorn movie where you can just turn your brain off and have some fun watching the action and explosions; but not really worth seeing more than once. It's a one time thing. It's a 5 out of 10 Noodles.